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Born in Sg, survived seven years of IJ, escaped to canada for the miraculous rebirth.. likes to say she found self there, But well when can we reach self actualization? now a waterloo student. 110% horse mad, was practically born on the back of a horse ( or rather wishes she was) horses are my favourite thing.

Bituwin - template
Dementee - image

You can keep me out of your mind that's alright.

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I almost can't believe and CAN believe it's end of term

November was nothing more than a mad rush to complete things and for the first time feeling completed exhausted and not bothering to catch up on readings for class. Cos I had ten thousand other peices of shit/3 projects to do

I have never had group work at UW but now. BOOm it's here

Well over actually, except for SMF

Which ended today, It was a very, eye-opening, influential, different, thought-provoking, moving, goose-bump giving class

Ive never had a class like this and don't this I will.

This term I haven;t
- gone to the gym enough
- Excercised enough
- DOne my readings well

I have!
- Done a lot of groupwork
- Did more DRIVING
- more riding

and I LOVEWHEREILIVE

Ok maybe my room is a little small, but my houseamtes are great, I like them, and I can do what the shit i want without being told off!!

It's been a great semester
Things I want for next term
1. Better grades
2. A JOB
3. pass my driving test
4. more friends

to be more happy, and pray more

Sunday, November 28, 2010
Say it

One of the MOST moving pieces of literature there is

Our stories only exist inside our heads
Inside our ravaged bodies
Inside a time and space of war
And emptiness
There is no paper trail
Nothing official on the books
Only conscience
Only this.

What we were promised:
That I would save my father if I went with them
That I would find a job
That I would serve the country
That they would kill me if I didn’t go
That it was better there
What we found:
No mountains
No trees
No water
Yellow sand
A desert
A warehouse full of tears
Thousands of worried girls
My braid cut against my will
No time to wear panties
What weChange our names
Wear one piece dresses with
A button that opened easily
50 Japanese soldiers a day
Sometimes there would be a ship of them
Strange barbaric things
Do it even when we bleed
Do it young before we started bleeding
There were so many
Some wouldn’t take off their clothes
Just took out their penis
So many men I couldn’t walk
I couldn’t stretch my legs
I couldn’t bend
I couldn’t .

What they did to us over and over:
Cursed
Spanked
Twisted
Tore bloody inside out
Sterilized
Drugged
Slapped
Punched

What we saw:
A girl drinking chemicals in the bathroom
A girl killed by a bomb
A girl beaten with a rifle over and over
A girl running head first into a wall
A girl’s malnourished body dumped in the river
To drown.
What we
What we weren’t allowed to do:
Wash ourselves
Move around
Go to the doctor
Use a condom
Run away
Keep my baby
Ask him to stop.
What we caught:
Malaria
Syphilis
Gonorrhea
Stillbirths
Tuberculosis
Heart disease
Nervous breakdowns
Hypochondria
What we were fed:
Rice
Miso soup
Turnip pickle
Rice
Miso Soup
Turnip Pickle
Rice Rice Rice

What we

Ruined
Tools
Infertile
Holes
Bloody
Meat
Exiled
Silenced
Alone
What we were left with:
Nothing
A shocked father who never recovered
And died.
No wages
Scars
Hatred of Men
No children
No house
A space where a uterus once was
Booze
Smoking
Guilt
Shame

What we got called:
Ianfu-Comfort Women
Shugyofu-Women Of Indecent Occupation
What we felt:
My chest still trembles

What got taken:
The springtime
My life
What we are:
74
79
84
93
Blind
Slow
Ready
Outside the Japanese Embassy every Wednesday
No longer afraid

What we want:
Now soon
Before we’re gone
And our stories leave this world,
Leave our heads
Japanese government
Say it
Please.
We are sorry, Comfort Women
Say it to me
We are sorry to me
We are sorry to me
To me
To me
To me
Say it.
Say sorry
Say we are sorry
Say Me
See Me
Say it
Sorry.
[Based on The Testimonies of The Comfort Women

Monday, November 22, 2010
If only

Mother : If you were in Singapore we would get you a horse ( apparently yog horses are being given away for free)

Me: %&*(@#$^&* ewoiroiIHFARGHHH * you're only telling me this cos im not in SG, gordammit*

Then on second thoughts, all the horses are jumpers and I prefer Dressage.
* mind floats away on fantasty on parents and me preparing MY chosen horse for a show, all of us braiding and singing away happily *

If only

Sunday, November 07, 2010
Will this ever end

It;s 9.58 on a sunday night and I find myself yet again in the library... with a headache, and an itchy dry eye trying to study for my mid term tmr

Given up on studying for it....

I FEEL SO SWAMPED

I looked at my schedule for myself and I realised that i literally for have no free time on weekdays, none whatsoever, all my free time has been eaten up, well except for after 6pm on some nights.
It's either RA work or class.
How do i get myself here, i don't know.

Riding lesson- Thursday afternoons, now i don't want to sacrifice this, this is one time when i can get my fricken mind off work and on something else, where I can relax and do what i love, while thinking how much i suck at it, but hey I just love riding OKAY.
So URGhHED out

I need a holiday/ break/ vacation
soon

Yay 4 weeks till end of term.
I went one week without RA work... BESTWEEKEVER
that is how much i like my RA work

But that would mean i would need to look for (paid) work next term.

oh wells. Get through it in One piece, and happy.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Would you be mine


Hello again friends ( or rather none)

STRESSED
it never fricken ends.... I dunno if it's cos this is 3rd yr or what but good gawd 3 grp projects?
really??

Whatever Keeps them more occupied I guess

Watched Never let me go this weekend

Depressingly beautiful stuff.... a poignant tale of love, loss, friendship, betrayal, and a haunting desinty that awaits them.
It is one of those OMG kind of books that makes my favourites list. Written in such a calm, quiet, serene way, but beautifully tragic.
I mean I know this book is purely fiction but it seems so believable one gets so emotionally cut up in this tale, you either watch the movie/ read the book feeling as though somewhere you know has died. It is heavy material.
It's science fictiony but disguised well. Think the Island ( minus the cliched hollywood blockbusterness) but set in a british boarding school mixed with the britishness stiffness/ setting of Atonement.
I think it is because the characters feel so real, you can sense thier raw emotion, their vulnerbility and their humanity. The words clones are never used, in fact you don't think them as anything other than ordinarily human and capable of feeling love just like everyone else . You notice that they don't seem to fight their fate, but merely accept their circumstances whilst silently fighting back tears. Actually the reader/ viewers are the ones fighting back tears!
Its the silent acceptance of their fate, that is so heart-wrenching. You feel such a deep wonton sense of injustice for them, as if this were real! but you have to remind yourself it's just great writing and fantastic acting.
This is one movie that lives up to the book in my opinion.
Two words, Beautifully tragic
leaves you gutted but in awe.