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Born in Sg, survived seven years of IJ, escaped to canada for the miraculous rebirth.. likes to say she found self there, But well when can we reach self actualization? now a waterloo student. 110% horse mad, was practically born on the back of a horse ( or rather wishes she was) horses are my favourite thing.

Bituwin - template
Dementee - image

You can keep me out of your mind that's alright.

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
GREAT RIDING



Went up to rl today, it was bloody fantastic!!

I was on artic for the first lesson, i had no idea he was SO NICE to ride!!!!!! i didn't have to work hard to get him rounded, though he did get a bit overbent at times. And i looked GREAT too!!! i think my posture in the saddle has really improved!! though my lower leg still needs work, that has always been a problem.

Practiced LOADS of sitting trot with him, i dunno if it is just artic but i could DO the sitting trot!! I just sat back slightly, tried my best to keep my legs long ( my stirrups seemed really long anyway) and it was really good, i managed to at least manitain him rounded and bending in the corners and doing circles, even in the canter!! it was wonderful, the best lesson i have had in a WHILE!! so happy!! His canter was not too big, managable and he gave to me easily. i didn't realise, but he is GORGEOUS mover. I think i just have to sit up, lean back a little, keep my legs long , heels down and ARMS bent, not so straight. He is such a lovely ride!

Next lesson,

I was on kampong, in the beginning he was REALLY LAZY!!!!!! i had to work so hard to get him to move and keep him rounded and working erghh . But he got better in the end, did tons of work trotting and cantering over groundpoles, it was quite bad at first until i resorted to forgetting that the groundpoles were even on the ground ! it did work actually....... Did some jumping, but only over one fence, started off with a small cross pole, that silly boy has to jack rabbit over those jumps! i wish he would just jump it properly!! unfortunately i kept getting left behind somtimes. Until i finally mastered it ! and didn't get left behind, jay told me that was the last jump but he let me go again ( 2x in fact) Great lesson!! i just wish i could have done a course.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Everyone knows i have a good nature, good temper, but when people try to take advantage of that.... I forgot one of pet peeves, that i don't really like it when people try to lie to me to impress/ compete/ one up me. One time i let it go, and look what happened, my " nice " nature ended up with me being stuck with an arrogant sick bastard who for anything that is true would really cross his eyes.

I'm not changing my nature because of him, though now i have become wary of people who talk far too much for their own good. All those guilt trips and lies he spun to me,i guess i really wasted 10 mths of my life with him, thankfully i'm not wasting a moment longer. It was really because of the hawaii trip, there i was free, i had no phone calls to attend to, no one to bother me. For once i was happy, not cloistered or pressured or made to feel bad/ guilty. I HAD FUN. I guess i wasted all those bucketloads of tears and emotions, but at least i wasnt stupid enough to give up my friends though he told me to.

I'll never understand what goes on in his head, he's too complex a character to handle.

But for now, i am happy and free ~ i have not felt so loved or appreciated by my friends and family in such a longtime.
Surprisingly i took a quick time to get over him...... maybe i didn't like him as much as i thought i did. maybe i was just lonely and looking for someone, well i looked for the wrong person.

At least i'm on the right path now

Friday, June 20, 2008

Quiz , as tagged by gaya ( love these things!)

1 If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
First i'll cry, then think of ways to kill the sad bastard

#2 If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Becoming a successful lawyer, getting my own horse and competing with him.

#3 What will your dream wedding be like?
One with meaning and memorable, i'm all for a church wedding

#4 Are you hungry?
nope.no appetite lately..

#5 What’s your ideal lover like?
someone who will love me for who iam, someone who won't force his own beliefs onto me and try to control me

#6 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
The greatest things you can ever learn is to love and be loved in return

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
When it comes it comes, it is just hard to recognise sometimes, you have to really sure of that person and the situation

#8 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Move on to someone else?

#9 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
There WAS, but i'm over it now

#10 Is being attached fun?
Yes and No

#11 How do you see yourself in ten years time?
Working, with my own horse probably married or engaged

#12 Who are currently the most important people to you?
Family and Friends

#13 What kind of person do you think the person who posted this bulletin?
Close friend of mine

#14 Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Hmm hard one, can't answer that......

#15 What’s the first thing you do every morning?
Get up and walk to the bathroom

#16 Would you give all in a relationship?
I GAVE my fucking all

#17 If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
The better person who treats and suits me better

#18 What are your friends usually like?
Funny, slightly crazy maybe, always a bit unusual and different

#19 What type of friends do you dislike?
Bitchy ones who go and gab behind your back or pretend to be your friends but purposely leave you out, and hypocrites

Friday, June 13, 2008

Everything happens for a reason, there's a reason why i did what i did. Doesn;t mean i liked doing it or wanted to. I will always miss him and will always love him. My hearts sinks when i think of him and what i had to do.

It wasn't easy for me but it was something i had to do. Something changed from before, i wish i knew. It just became different. But that does not mean i still don't miss those times we spent together. They will stay with me forever....... i feel there;s a whole in me, and i feel worn as i type this....... I will always love you, but sometimes that just isn't enough.

He tired me out, he wore me down, i gave everything of me and yet i didn't sacrifice enough. I put up with everything. Your moodswings, the guiltrips you put me on and i forgave you everytime. It was just too much for me to bear. You showed me a different world but i didn't realise we were two different people, maybe just too different. I will never regret loving or being in a relationship with you, cos what we had was beautiful. I will always love the times we spent together and all you've done for me these 10 mths. THank you for everything, thank you for taking care of me for loving me and being there for you when i needed you, i'm sorry if i couldn;t support you the way you support me.

You hurt me baby, but i still love you, and it's just not enough.i had to walk away.

Thanks for all you gave me