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Born in Sg, survived seven years of IJ, escaped to canada for the miraculous rebirth.. likes to say she found self there, But well when can we reach self actualization? now a waterloo student. 110% horse mad, was practically born on the back of a horse ( or rather wishes she was) horses are my favourite thing.

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You can keep me out of your mind that's alright.

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Monday, November 23, 2009

At least the horrible feeling at the pit of stomach is gone. I had it for a while, i was filled with a sense of dread, unhappiness, social anxiety? could i say that? Anxiety with the ppl i live with? well at least it is more or less gone now.
Things were bad... this term was up and down sometimes good sometimes nicht sehr gut. But... I have learnt, if anything my faith in God got stronger, i actually enjoy going to church now. I have more conviction and hope and hope in him now. I know i can depend on him when i am down.

I have relied on him, i prayed so hard to him, i faced huge mountains this term and felt rock bottom. But i have and can resurface. I know i will always face the challanges. But what doesn;t kill you makes you a stronger person ( although you sometimes feel like dying)

On a more cheery note...
Went to a horse show this weekend. Waterloo hosted the OUEA show. Got up at 5 am, there was no water due to a burst pipe from across the road. Walked to school and got a ride at 6am with sydney who was really nice. ( probably cos she missed the club i think) But yes, doing that on 5 hrs of sleep ( went out clubbing at a club with really bad music) It was honestly SOOOO TIRRING, but hung out considerably with kari. The day went by pretty slowly, felt we had been there for hours when it was only 9am! Well you spend most of the time walking horses around, getting the riders on etc. But it was fun, fun but VERY tirring.

I mean the horse show world can be a snobby world, all mostly girls and rich and white. Ok, maybe not ALL rich but 99% white. I've been around horse shows so much it's just all noise and familiarity. Familiairity if anything... made it comfortable, honestly with the amount of time ive been around horses over the years... even though now i don't get that weekly dose of it, it is SOO second nature to me now. It is like breathing!!

I love horses and i miss them..

Wish i had a car and could drive up to go riding. Even if it is just lessons. DEAR GOD I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO THAT
that is a bit sad LOL