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Born in Sg, survived seven years of IJ, escaped to canada for the miraculous rebirth.. likes to say she found self there, But well when can we reach self actualization? now a waterloo student. 110% horse mad, was practically born on the back of a horse ( or rather wishes she was) horses are my favourite thing.

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You can keep me out of your mind that's alright.

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Thursday, December 10, 2009
End of Term Report

10 freaking days to go!!!!!!!!!
CANNOT WAIT

To get out of this little hell hole... This little apartment... the things i have to say about it...
A learning experience lets just say. My mental health has not been so challanged, almost as bad as the ex ( ok as bad) This time with no horses to make it all better/ worth it

Oh wait! Checkist!
I wrote these things back in July... Lets see now
1. Do better in classes Umm... we;ll wait and shall we? ( crosses fingers fervently and hopes and prays for the best)
2. Take up riding lessons Nada as of yet... Im still pinning for it
3. Volunteer As as an RA? HELL YEAH
4. Make more friends Yes! but grew apart froma few
5. Take DRIVING LESSONS Again no
6. Take up a salsa/ tango class YEs, if one or two lessons count

But i need not worry, only half the year is gone. I still have another half... and the summer, which i am wondering is still a good idea... but will probably just go forward with it. I have the SJU rez contract already. MOVE OUT OF THIS SHITTY FLAT

And come fall '10 I don't think i will living with the same people again. I need to step out. Even if it means being alone... well um i guess i am already kinda a little/ slightly like that.

I remember earlier i thought that being in Nova scotia would prepare me for this... Prepare me? living like this made carol look like the a quiet old mare!! Ok maybe not that extreme but... I guess she IS the boss so... In Nova scotia the horses made everything better... here I felt so alone, and for the first time for a fleeting few moments i considered packing it all in and giving up my overseas adventure. Seriously... i felt that low. I moved apart from people, and i dont know why. But now im jus seriously too tired to care anymore. I cried so much, felt so alone... I had to go for counselling, it got that bad. Not that everything is perfect now... im still working on it... things are still raw (kind of) but semester is ending and i am glad for it. So much drama and shit happened...
I think i missed having a close friend to chat to... i got lonely. i got blamed for stuff i never did... its hard living in such close quarters with ppl... im telling you, it is the apartment... Im still trying to find that close friend to talk to. But in the mean time, i think i am going to be ok ( for now)
But I JUST WANT TO TAKE A BREAK FROM THIS PLACE