<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/37752057?origin\x3dhttp://afterthesilence-x.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Born in Sg, survived seven years of IJ, escaped to canada for the miraculous rebirth.. likes to say she found self there, But well when can we reach self actualization? now a waterloo student. 110% horse mad, was practically born on the back of a horse ( or rather wishes she was) horses are my favourite thing.

Bituwin - template
Dementee - image

You can keep me out of your mind that's alright.

Hit counter code here

Monday, April 12, 2010
End of term post ( or so i think)

5 more days

5 fucking more days

Until i am out of this place
A part of me will always think " was it my fault for moving away? should i be the guilty one? for deciding to distance myself ? for just wanting to get a bigger social circle? Ok i have to stop thinking about that.

It is done, and I will be happier for it.

Cos truth is, living here was the true time I was unhappy, the only time when i was away that i would wake up wanting to cry, feeling so damned low, feeling so alone. If my life were a tv show this would be the time when the scriptwriters decided to make my storyline really dark. Thankfully things got better.

I know i should stop harping on it, and I will. It's just i live with it every fucking day until i can get out of this place, which i know i will in FIVE DAYS

Back to Singapore.....
The amazing race apparently came to Singapore. I immediately downloaded the episode to watch it. It was slightly odd... i mean it was pretty amazing to see my home again. But they showed only the nice parts like Singapore flyer, Sentosa.... I mean yeah it's gorgeous, clean, sparkling metropolis of grey and glass, spotlesslessness, my educated, skeptical mind tells me yeah this is really just a big advertisement for Singapore, a chance to be showcased to a world-wide audience. Actually I have to add, helluva lot better than when they had to find PCK in the heartlands ( that was really painful) at least this time it was BETTER. I have to say pretty good challanges for the competitors.

But... to me all that is not the real singapore. What i saw reminded me of The Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz. You could take that both ways.
Singapore to me is not the Architecture, the e Sparkling new buildings, it's not in the expensive new disney-land like appearance. It is not in the flashy stiff newness.
It;s in the people, it cant be seen. It has to be experienced, to be felt from within. It's in the spirit of the people. How do i describe it? I don't really know.... but i know it's not in the shiny tward appearance. It's in the voice of the people, it is in the uncle nursing a tiger at 3pm at the downstairs coffee shop, the fifteen year old sitting on the mrt train home from school. It is in my family. The place where i spent the first seventeen years of my life
( Ok i left Singapore a kid, and came back grown up, older, wiser, independent but slightly bruised.)

It's in the everyday moments, and i am so damn glad to be going back. Despite the fact that I know it will be different. Canada may have changed me, forced me to grow up quickly, but Singapore is and will always give me that warm and fuzzy feeling and make my heart sink a little everytime i remember
I will probably never live there long-term

Ok i bet you are tired of this now, I will now shut up