Coming Full Circle with Albert Street

It's the happy ending to story, the " happily ever after" well maybe im getting too far ahead and exaggerating but...

My bed is gone, i sold it for $250. Best of all, it's gone to a good home, where i hope it shall be used for a long time, and cherished for years. It deserves that, not just for some studeInt like me who is constantly moving. But permanance. It went to a sweet mennonite couple. * heart warms*

Now the room is similar to what I got back in september '09. Not even a year but yet it feels like an entire decade has based. Back when i had no idea what i was heading into, but yet wasa giddy with girlish excitement with getting our own place antd finally living out on our own, the adventure and happiness we would have for maybe the next few years? So young, so unknowing like heading headfirst into long dark tunnel.

The weeks and months go by, things aren't turning out the way they should be. People aren't as easy to get along with as I thought. Suddenly it seems like im the one always at fault, im the one who is being uncooperative, who is " terrible" housemate. Life falls apart, i get blamed for absolutely everything. ive started on this long dark spiral downwards, this is not working. Why am I always so upset? why do i wake up and cry? and i can't talk to anyone abt this?
So i try to deal with it, go to counselling, make new friends, but i know the only way is if i take the big leap of faith and leave.

I don't leave until 7 months later. It's all i can handle, i move out quietly. Packing my things and moving to a new location, nearer school. Not much is said, I do not know if i will be missed, but I hope I will find happiness.
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Now returning about nearly 3 months after moving out...... Ive come full circle. At first, when i first left it was awkward and I left literally leaving much behind ( including feelings) and then quietly coming back and each time each knawing feeling in my stomach leaving as i slowly sell off the furniture. Then now, returning today, I feel ra huge sense of relief, a burden lifted off my shoulder, a storm cloud over my head finally gone. Iv reached the happy ending. To top it all off, I talk to tammy who tells me, that even I have left, things aren't all golden, people are fighting, there are disagreements. Im not the bad guy, maybe I never was.......

which brings me to the subletter- getting a bit miffed here, I liked her. Yeah sure her friends came over, she was DIFFERENT from you. Everyone is different, she was not rude or nasty to anyone... People, you have to stop being immature abt others and learn to accept thosye who may have different ways from you. So high school.... I thnk i got over that years ago.....

But the overall feeling I got, with tammy and justine is that I was FINALLY at last comfortable in the apartment. I was back at the start. It had taken me so long to finally get there again. I had to hate so much, then leave, then slowly return to find it. No longer a naive girlish excittement, but a deep warm gush of satisfaction, a smile on my face, the feeling of having weathered a storm and survived it, and knowing that only by going through this hellish journey would I get to where I am now. By finally moving out, and by finally coming back and facing it I have come full circle. It's my purple summer, it's where I will eventually end up.

9:27 PM ·